We’ve all had a giggle at the possibility of South Perth and Victoria Park being named after the home of foul-mouthed characters Cartman, Kenny, Kyle and Stan when council mergers kick in.
With the state government planning to reduce the number of metropolitan councils from 30 to about 15, submissions for new council names closed on Thursday.
In June, South Perth council voted South Park as the preferred name of a merged council.
But like an excited couple talking baby names before a baby is even born, WAtoday.com.au has come up with some suggestions for the possible new local governments.
East Fremantle/Fremantle
Many out of towners already spell Fremantle wrong, so why not embrace that, add that ‘e’ for East into Fremantle and have Freemantle.
Melville/Coolbelup/Bibra Lake/North Lake/Samson/O’Connor
According to the maps of the proposed new boundaries that are available online, this new local government could be shaped almost like a heart, so I say let’s stick with the city of love theme and call it Paris.
In the tradition of Paris’ many bridges that are covered in locks placed by love-struck couples, perhaps the Canning Bridge could also be renamed the Love Bridge.
Never mind the strange shape sticking out of the loveheart - I’d prefer to overlook it than see it as a stake in the heart.
Joondalup is expected to stay solo, so why not call them what many other local government mayors consider them behind closed doors... Winners.
Wanneroo, a place where many people would like to change the name, won’t get the chance as the local government will remain unchanged.
Perth and Vincent should be dubbed Bunnings, because while Perth Mayor Lisa Scaffidi may say the city was not trying to cherry pick infrastructure in its suggestion for the new boundary, the newly-created local government could end up having almost one of everything; including three major hospitals, Patersons Stadium and Crown Perth.
Other parts of Perth could also possibly be renamed as a result of the mergers.
While we are at it, Belmont Racecourse could be re-branded as 'Alaska' as it is actually currently within the Town of Victoria Park, similar to the way the American state of Alaska, is not quite connected to the rest of the electorate it falls under.
The Shire of Serpentine Jarrahdale obviously doesn’t mind long names that confuse people, so to be fair; it could just add Armadale to become Serpentine Jarrahdale Armadale.
While the other local governments might tease SJA at local government get-togethers, like anyone with a double or triple barrel name, its peers will likely make their own nickname for it.
Late last year the idea of expanding the City of Melville to take in parts of the Cockburn, Fremantle and Canning was suggested but now seems unlikely: luckily because Cockmantle just does not sound right.
Instead it looks likely that Cockburn and Kwinana could merge but I wouldn't suggest a merger of their names as neither Cocknana or Cockwin sound that pleasant.
There may actually be no point discussing possible names anyway, as it's likely Premier Colin Barnett and Local Government Minister Tony Simpson will 'suggest' some new names but not force any council to use them.
Mr Simpson should receive the completed report by the end of August.
If you have your own suggestions for council merger names, comment below
